Bereavement

The loss of a close friend, family member or fellow student can have a very significant emotional impact. This can often affect mental wellbeing and can make maintaining a consistent academic, social and work life very challenging. University of Galway fully understands this and appreciates the significance of it on students and staff. Anything that can be done to make the bereavement process easier for students and staff will be done to the best of the university’s ability. 

I will be missing a week of college due to having to travel for a funeral.  What should I do? 

Mention the situation to your school or lecturers. If you will be missing a class test or an assignment deadline, again, discuss it with your tutor or lecturer and an alternative assignment or deadline might be arranged. 

I am really struggling to cope with the passing away of someone close to me and don’t know how to approach my feelings on it. 

If there are other people around you who knew and were close to that person, then it may be helpful to discuss your emotions and feelings of bereavement with them. It’snot unlikely that they are feeling the same way and it may be of great benefit to both of you to talk. If there is no such person whom you feel you can talk to, then speaking to the Student Counselling Service, Chaplaincy or Student Health Unit may help.  

What is grief? 

Grief is a completely natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when someone or something significant is taken away. You may think grieving only happens after the death of someone you know. While someone dying does cause the most intense grief, other losses also require grieving, including: 

Examples of things you are likely to experience in response to the death of someone close to you:

Sadness and loneliness: The loss of a loved one leaves you feeling sad and lonely. When you have lost a partner or close friend you may be especially lonely as you were used to a close day-by-day relationship and shared everyday activities. 

Anger: This is a frequent experience after the loss. The anger comes from a sense of frustration that there was nothing yourself, family doctors or God could do to prevent the death. You may also feel angry with the deceased for leaving you.  

Guilt and self-reproach: These are common responses to loss. You may feel guilty about things done of left undone, unresolved quarrels, words said or left unsaid. Most often guilt is normal, though not justified. 

Anxiety and Fear: Feelings of anxiety are common and stem from two sources. You may fear that you will not be able to take care of yourself on your own and your awareness of your own mortality is heightened by the death of a loved one. You may feel very vulnerable and lose confidence in yourself and in the world.  

Fatigue: Fatigue is frequently experienced and to a person who is usually very active this can be both surprising and distressing. 

Despair and Helplessness: You may feel you cannot bear the pain any longer. The sense of helplessness engendered by death makes bereavement a stressful experience. 

Shock: You may feel numb, bewildered, stunned and unable to think clearly. Shock occurs most often in the case of a sudden death.  

Longing and Searching: You may have a sense of longing to see, hear, hold and talk to the person who has died. 

Relief: It is normal to feel relieved after death of a loved one who suffered a lengthy illness. It is also normal to feel relieved that a person with whom you had a difficult relationship is no longer alive. Guilt often accompanies this sense of relief, but it is a normal part of grief. 

It is also quite likely that you may experience a number of physical sensations as part of grieving. This is your body responding to mental and emotional overdrive. However, if any of these feelings persist to a point of concern then it may be advisable to consult your GP or the Student Health Unit.   

Physical responses to grief can include: